>>By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
>> Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Dumas
>>The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Sigmund Freud
>>I had some words with my wife; and she had some paragraphs with me. - Unknown
>>"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
- Henny Youngman
>>"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." - Sam Kinison
>>"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." - James Holt McGavran
>>"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
- Patrick Murray
>>Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Ogden Nash
>>The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... - Unknown
>>You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Henny Youngman
>>My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield
>>A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle
>>Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. - Unknown
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Have A nice day...
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollarsfor dinner.
The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I giveyou this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years ago?”, the homeless woman replied.
“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” the woman asked“No, I don’t waste time shopping?”, the homeless woman said.
“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this at a beauty salon instead of food?” the woman asked.
“Are you NUTS?” replied the homeless woman. “I haven’t had my hair donein 20 years!”
“Well,” said the woman, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead,I’m going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.
The homeless woman was astounded. “Won’t your husband be furious with youfor doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”
The woman replied, “That’s Okay. It’s important for him to see what awoman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine.”
An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window. The Father asked his Son, "What is this?" The Son replied "It is a crow".. 
My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time h e asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child". While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed. 
